Just Looking ...

To go back to what we discussed in the first class, in my personal experience - or the personal experience of two of my closest friends, who are both in long-term relationships - it's generally the men who drive in relationships. However, this isn't so much a matter of deferral of power, as much as a monetary issue. In this instance, the seating actually relates back to the deeper issue of men generally earning a higher income. (Another issue altogether!) For one friend, the man is the owner of the car, and therefore drives it. For the other, she's too cheap to pay for more gas than absolutely necessary. If he can drive - whether to the grocery store or out of province - she will more than happily take the maps. The driver, of course, is the one who leaves the car to fill up the tank and thus pays.

Secondly, both the men are far more interested in cars than either of my friends. Neither care to drive, and find the responsibility of maintaining a vehicle that is enjoyable to drive (with toys like GPS and crazy sound systems) cumbersome, so they pass the responsibility on. I do have a female friend who does enjoy being behind the wheel, and has pride of ownership in her vehicle, so much so that she's put "Princess" decals on her vehicle and a big pink ribbon for breast cancer on the back. Her boyfriend refuses to drive it, so she drives, even when they're together.

To get back to the title of this post - and agree with Nadine's statement - all of these women find themselves in the position of driving their boyfriends home in the evening. The man WOULD be driving home - if he wasn't incapacitated! At most social events, the woman is expected to drive. Most men might typically enjoy driving, but they enjoy drinking more. I wouldn't say that this circumstance of female driving and men in the passenger's seat shows any liberation or empowerment on the part of the women. They drive because the men tell them to - they get put into a mothering position.

In short, during the day - "regular" driving - it is not an issue of female subservience. The men drive more because they enjoy driving - putting the money necessary into making is enjoyable, as well as the act itself. We let them have that, primarily because we don't care. When drinking is involved, and the woman actually is driving, ironically, it is less of a choice on her part. It's an issue of safety, and taking on the responsibility of having someone in your care.

[Image credit: www.art.com]